How a person defines themselves is a major part of who the person really is, so for my Big Question I chose:
In a culture where we are bombarded with other people trying to define us, how do we make decisions for ourselves?
I feel that most teenagers, including myself, struggle with this question unconsciously every day. We try and find out who we really are separate from who are parents want us to be and what school and society have laid out for us. Especially as seniors, we are all stuck with major decisions like where do I want to go to college and what do I want to do with my life and it is very difficult to decide what you want and not what other people want for you.
My independent study book this summer was Kite Runner and I feel like it relates well to my big question. Amir, the main character, is constantly reminded that he is a screw up in his father’s eyes and that he is not the son his dad had hoped for. His dad constantly tries to make him life sports, not writing, and to be strong and stand up for himself. Amir, trying hard to please his dad, wins the kite tournament and lets his best friend get raped just so he can get the respect from his dad he has always wanted. His way of defining himself caused others pain, yet it was his way, not his father’s.
This question also relates to my favorite TV show, Gilmore Girls. One of the main characters, Lorelai Gilmore, was brought up in a rich community. Her parents and the community they belong too forced her into proper manners, money and a whole lifestyle she didn’t want. She defined herself as the rebel, based off of her parents strictness, and ended up pregnant at sixteen. I feel like all the decisions she ended up making for herself weren’t made entirely by her because she based all of them off of how her parents tried to define her.
I am really interested to see how this question and multiple answers develop over the year and how it will play into my own life.
2 comments:
Certainly, a pertinent question.
What is your question saying about being a teenager? Especially, being a teenager in a culture which essentially lacks any defining custom/ritual associated with a "rite of passage" into adulthood?
Rasko, from Crime and Punishment, also tried to define himself on his own terms and not on the laws of the community. He wrote an article that divided all people into two categories, the extraordinary and the ordinary. He explained that the extraordinary were above all others, even the law, and had the right to break the law if they saw fit too. He wanted to be in this category, so he murdered two sisters and defended his actions by saying he had done it for the greater good and that they needed to die. This was Rasko’s way of defining himself; he made rules that applied to only him and broke morals and laws along the way. He was sick of the path he was on, with school and relying on his family, that he made his own path based on what he wanted to do.
It seems that through most of my examples, the character chooses a path that is their own but at the sacrifice of someone else. Amir let his best friend get raped, Lorelai got pregnant at sixteen thus changing her life forever and humiliating her parents and Rasko committed two murders just to prove that he could be extraordinary. I wonder if making decisions on your own has to be so extreme or if it can be subtle?
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